The day I saw my mom off at the airport in Portland, Maine, my adventure took a turn for the worst. I suddenly felt like a lonely and lost puppy. I realized that I hadn’t planned the rest of my trip (so I didn’t know where I was going next) and I didn’t know anybody in the eastern half of the United States (so I had no clue where I was going to stay). I had the day in Portland to figure out my next steps. A plan was what I needed. A plan was what I made. 

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Incidentally, an amazing children's book! Go read it!
One thing I’ve learned on this trip that I never really got before is the value of networking. Exhausted and desperate in my motel room in Portland, I put out a generic plea for help, and my friends came to my rescue! Over the course of the day, I had both my route and my next few days’ accommodations figured out. Before I could set my plan in action, I had an observation shift with a doctor in Portland who does a lot of acupuncture with her patients. It was an amazing day—I saw lots of patients (all of whom received acupuncture) and then got to receive a treatment myself during lunch! I sure must have been exhausted because I fell asleep and woke myself up snoring in the community acupuncture room, which was full. How embarrassing! Sleeping on the job… Not very good, Erica! I realized that I have probably been pushing myself pretty hard on this journey of mine and that some serious self-care is in order when I get back to my home coast. I also realized that I do not want to practice acupuncture, as much as I love it. I couldn't help noticing that having acupuncture as a tool in a doctor's tool belt means that you use it a lot, often at the expense of all the other tools. It's the other tools that most interest me, and I would never want them to go by the wayside. All in all, a really great experience and valuable lesson.

That night I stayed with some friends outside of Portland who are friends of a classmate of mine. They were awesome! They were a wonderful young couple who are soon expecting a baby. The fellow of the couple works as an EMT for the military – very interesting guy! We had intense discussion about the health care situation in the United States (always a terrifying topic for me, naïve Canadian that I am) and after letting me listen to their developing baby’s heartbeat, they put me up in their soon-to-be baby room where I slept oh-so-soundly. Zzzzzz. They also hooked me up with a relative of theirs who lives in Chicago and who, they said, “would love to show me around.” Chicago phone number in-hand, off I went to Boston!

I managed my drive to Boston without losing my nerve, and there I stayed with a fella from couchsurfing who used to play soccer for Liverpool! Since it was his day off (and since he was a super nice guy), he took me out on the town and showed me some of the Boston highlights, including Boston Common, Quincy Market, Harvard University (snobby!—I couldn’t get in to see the library. You need a Harvard ID!), and Benjamin Franklin’s grave. We walked the freedom trail and had a picnic on the waterfront. We had a drink at a bar, watched some sports, and went home. The next day I was off to Rhode Island! It all sounds so exotic, but it was really only about two hours from each place to the next.

Providence! Providence seems like a nice city – lots of old architecture, for which I usually go a little bananas.  I toured the old town, ventured around Brown University, and then headed out to road trip down to Newport for some beach action. Newport seems like a pretty nice little summer spot. Being there made me feel extremely poor. I felt like I was swimming in a pond that was way too big for me. Economic status is something that has been very much on my mind since being on the east coast, since there just seems to be so much money over here! And to make it worse, there are the tolls!

Canadians—a thing I didn’t know about the USA that might be good to know if any of you are thinking of road tripping is that the States really love their tolls! There are so many tollbooths! Also, most bridges have a toll. Everywhere you go, it’s toll, toll, toll, toll, toll! I’ve had it! If I needed a reason to go back to Canada, I think I found one. Going over one bridge took all my cash and then I asked if there were any more tollbooths because I was out of cash(!) and the man looked at me as though he was thinking, “You must be joking.” I had to go to an emergency ATM to take out more cash just for the right to drive on the freeway! Unreal! All of the tolls, all of the constant traffic and stress over here has left me with the overall impression that the east coast loves to drain me (and everyone else who is poor) of resources—mental, emotional, and financial! No thanks! Get me back to the west!

*Ahem* Back to my story…

My day in Newport was relatively good. I ventured out to a beach that was slightly lower key, and camped out there for an hour or so with my blanket and book. I combed the beach for shells, waded in the water, and soaked in some sun. Still, I felt like the shell of a person, merely pretending to enjoy life on the east coast. I certainly wasn't laughing and splashing like the kids with their families; nor was I cuddling with a lover on a blanket. Just me, by myself, in an unfamiliar place, once again. When I decided it was time to head back to the city, off I went, to meet my couchsurfing host for the evening: Anne. Anne works in publishing, has the most cozy and comfortable home in a charming part of Providence, and has the sweetest dog, Betty, who basically fell over after relaxing too heavily while I was petting her. Anne’s friendliness and enthusiasm was exactly what I needed and I went to bed feeling my spirits lifted.

The following day, I met with a doctor outside of Providence who specializes in autism spectrum disorders. I was greeted by a bright and cheery woman, whose enthusiasm and vivacity gave me the boost I so sorely needed. Her waiting room was filled with artwork her patients make—I loved that. Throughout the day I was treated to some real thick east coast accents: “Oim up Kwoffing wall noyt.” That accent is really fun! At the end of the day, she gave me the name of another doctor in Portland, Oregon who has a son with Down syndrome, has focused her practice around treating Down syndrome, and (coincidentally) has the same name as me! I left her office feeling excited and itching to get back to Portland as soon as possible to meet this woman and become her protégé!

That night, I got to stay with a school friend of mine in Rhode Island, who just got home for the rest of the summer. It was so refreshing to see a friendly face, and after a great night’s sleep, and after she set me up with her relatives’ contact info for a place to stay the next day, off I went to drive the three hours to Manchester, NH to meet a woman who works at Emerson Ecologics—one of the largest distributors of natural supplements in North America. I arrived in town early and went to meet her. I knew that our appointment was to be short in the first place, so when she was ten minutes late, I started to worry. After the receptionist did some sleuthing, she found out that the doctor I was supposed to meet had canceled our meeting earlier that morning. Since I was on the road, I would never have received the message (the fact that my "smart" phone is actually pretty dumb doesn’t help). She nevertheless came out to meet me. Being greeted by her confused and mildly irritated face made me feel so pathetic and like the world’s biggest imbecile. She agreed to meet me for 20 minutes or so over her lunch break for which I was instructed to go out and find myself some lunch and then return to eat with her. Like a fool, I ran down the street, ordered the most time-consuming item to prepare, and then ran back, my lunch in tow, in time to sit with her for a few minutes. I really wasn’t even at all hungry (my nerves being in overdrive at this point). She had recruited another doctor to join us for lunch, who ultimately offered me a lot more in the way of connection, so the meeting wasn’t a total loss. Nevertheless, I went away feeling frustrated and frankly angry that my visit was so flippantly received. It did not make me feel glad for driving three hours out of my way in the wrong direction.

That night, however, I was cheered once again, when I stayed with my friend’s aunt, uncle, and cousin. It was a funny evening. Everyone but the uncle went out, so it was him and me, drinking wine and eating dinner together while he told me about his history of diabetes. I really enjoyed our chat. When I settled in for the night, I ended up in an online chat with a fellow who I am going to be staying with in Minnesota (another friend of a friend). Even online, he was really funny and left me laughing for the first time in days. I went to sleep, filled with the sense of peace that comes from making a new friend.

On Wednesday, I had planned to meet with a doctor at the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut. We had agreed on sometime in the “late morning” and I was supposed to call him to remind him that I was on my way. While on the freeway, I did just that, and left a message that I was heading down. He called me shortly after, and this was our conversation:

“Hi Erica – are you heading to Bridgeport?”
“Yes…”
“Well, I am in Illinois!”
“Oh! Haha!! Uh…”

Turns out I got my schools mixed up, and this man doesn’t work at Bridgeport at all. I decided to check the school out anyway. I would introduce myself to whomever I could find and see what I could see and then move on to Pennsylvania later that evening.

Well, my U of Bridgeport experience was fantastic. I wandered in, unannounced, and just happened to fall into the lap of all the school’s deans who ushered me into a lecture on edible wild plants (grand rounds). I then sat in on two clinic shifts with two of the school’s favourite teachers, one of whom is the author of the “Eat Right 4 Your Blood Type” books, Dr. D’Adamo. I am very familiar with his books (and believe in his philosophy) but I had no idea I would be meeting him, let alone that he is an instructor there. He doesn’t usually take preceptors, but there I was, in his clinic, right off the street! The students at Bridgeport were so welcoming and kind, and the doctors were great! Patients will pay a lot of money to see Dr. D’Adamo (a student told me it can be about $900 or something like that). He analyzes a patient’s blood and uses physical measurements to determine a patient’s blood type and genotype. From this information, he provides the patient with a personalized, custom diet that is specific to their biological makeup. I got to sit in as the students presented such a diet to a patient. It was a pretty special experience to be privy to this moment in her life at which she got a sense of hope that she might actually be able to feel better. I left Bridgeport with the feeling that I had expanded my naturopathic community tremendously, and it was great (better than I realized) to be in contact with my peers again.

My Bridgeport experience reminded me about expectations. My expectations the previous day led to so much disappointment, unease, and frank misery. And my lack of expectations the next day led to a wonderful surprise!

I left Bridgeport and had plans to stay in Philadelphia, but after several hours of driving (me—just one of thousands of red dots on the packed freeway), and being tired and frustrated, I decided not to drive into the city just to leave it again first thing in the morning. Instead, I ventured west of Philadelphia to Ephrata, where I would be shadowing a doctor the next day (today). On my way to the clinic today, I saw a stream of horse’n’buggy traffic, reminding me that I am in Amish country! The doctor who I met today was great—he has loads of experience (unfortunately not a lot of patients today) and so we chatted for hours today about all things naturopathic. Lots of Amish people came in for their chiropractic treatments (some of them arriving in a minivan—how odd!). The good doctor gave me a road map of PA after I complained heavily about the toll roads. He took me for lunch, performed an osteopathic technique on my skull, wrists, and hips, and when I left, I felt nourished and happy.

And that brings me up to date. Tomorrow I am heading to Indianapolis, then off to Chicago on Saturday. I’ve decided to speed things up, as I am getting antsy to get home now. I have been accumulating an extensive list of things I need to get back to Portland in order to do, and I am realizing that this vacation of mine is also inevitably going to be followed by a recovery period (see: snoring in the acupuncture clinic). One guy I met referred to my trip not as a road trip but as a road tour! I think he is right. It is a whirlwind tour that is taking the wind out of me. I am so looking forward to once again having conversations with people who know me. These days, every person I meet I am meeting for the first time, and the old line, "Hi, I'm Erica!" (complete with big smiles and lots of enthusiasm) is growing repetitive. Still, I am also gaining so much (more than I have had time to realize, I think). Tonight I even saw my first-ever fireflies on a walk around Lancaster County, which was magical. 

And more to come— 

 
From Ontario to Nova Scotia, a lot has gone down. Here it goes:

Despite the stunning golden sunset that saw me into Toronto and my ensuing glowing sense of optimism, the overall theme of my time in Ontario was trauma.

My visit to Toronto began with a tour of the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine. I saw photos on the walls of many of the doctors I have encountered or would soon be encountering on my journeys, and my tour guide and I compared notes on our schools and programs. I chatted with first-year students, fourth-year students, and faculty and staff. Once upon a time, I never even considered applying at CCNM, but after hearing the lowdown over there, I could see myself making a switch (especially if the Canadian dollar continues to drop). It was great to get a sense of the birthing place for so many of the naturopathic doctors practicing in Canada and to meet many of them. Sadly, I had to cut my visit short in order to motor my way across town to meet my first Toronto ND!

Upon arrival at the doctor’s office, I was introduced to a baby bird she had rescued after it had fallen out of its nest. She had treated the bird with arnica – a homeopathic remedy specifically for physical trauma. The baby bird was recovering nicely and had already grown significantly in only a few days. It also seemed to be – as weird as it is to say so–happy! She introduced “baby bird” to every patient that day. I thought it was a little unusual to have a bird in the doctor’s office, but her patients seemed to love it! I was a little nervous about making my way back across town during rush hour so she wrote me out a handy map of the roads of least resistance that would lead me back with my sanity intact. Unfortunately, I took a wrong turn, and my GPS took over, leading me right onto one of Toronto’s busiest streets – at rush hour! Cyclists darting to and fro, pedestrians walking onto the street all over the place, street cars, me sliding all over the street car tracks, and so many cars! Needless to say, when I finally arrived at my home base, I was almost in tears and needed a healthy dose of Rescue Remedy to steady my nerves!

The following day, I was back at CCNM to preceptor with a naturopathic doctor there who used to do a lot of work with HIV/AIDS. Today, he focuses on the entire spectrum of autoimmune diseases and has found that by treating the emotional trauma that often precedes these diseases, he is able to achieve the deepest healing. During my day with him, he had only one patient, which meant that we had loads of time for talking. He spoke to me at great length about homeopathy and the ways he has seen it work miracles with his patients. This doctor doesn’t usually take student preceptors but he invited me back any time, and I just may have to make my way to Toronto again (much as I don’t love the place) as I felt there is a lot I could learn from him.

The trauma that so commonly precedes disease can be physical or emotional, but I’m getting a sense that more often, it is emotional. I’m learning that it is the “emotionally traumatized” patients in whom I have the greatest interest. Counseling is a natural treatment option for these patients, but equally or even more effective is homeopathy. My interest in homeopathy was already blossoming prior to this cross-country adventure, but in the last few weeks, in my meetings with so many of the doctors I have met, I’ve been able to see (and hear about) the way it enables patients to delve into the deep emotional traumas they may have buried (either by accident or on purpose) way down inside, and I am becoming increasingly convinced that homeopathy is something worth learning well. I have met doctors who have been practicing for upwards of twenty years, and all of them are using a healthy dose of homeopathy with their patients. Why? Because, they say, when they use homeopathy with patients, traumatic experiences that have been suppressed for decades can be brought to light and processed in a healthy way, allowing patients to finally become unstuck and move forward in their lives and upwards in their health. The healing that occurs is very deep. I liked the way one doctor begins his visits with patients: “Tell me about your suffering.” Patients may or may not be able or ready to do this. The process may be slow, but homeopathy seems to help tremendously, having the capacity to dramatically change a person’s life from the inside out.

Another thing I learned in Ontario is that I do not want to live in a huge city like Toronto. I loved spending time with friends, but I find a city of that volume to be highly stressful and overwhelming, not to mention polluted and moderately hostile. It has a lot to offer in terms of opportunity, amenities, things to do, culture… but I am not sure it’s worth the downsides.

As enlightening as Toronto was, I was happy to speed away toward Kingston. I didn’t know anything about Kingston, but I have wanted to visit for some time, as I have had a gut feeling that I might really like the place. Well, it turns out my intuition was spot-on once again, as it was love at first sight! Kingston's old-world charm reminded me of Victoria, BC, which I also loved the first time I visited. In my brief time in Kingston, I toured the downtown, took a dip in Lake Ontario (so refreshing!), explored the campus of Queen’s University (Wow!!!), and had a picnic dinner by the lake. People in that town are out and about, living life and enjoying the delights of the city. It’s the sort of place a person instantly feels cozy and at home, and it’s the sort of place a person (that is, me) wants to live! People warn me against the weather, but I like snow and seasons. What's wrong with a little snow? The town is overrun with naturopathic doctors, but what's one more? 

I had to leave early the next day to make my way to Prince Edward County, just 45 minutes outside of Kingston, to spend the day with a naturopathic doctor out there who runs a bed and breakfast out of which she also has her medical practice. You could say she’s living the dream – a dream that doesn’t come without its minor nightmarish scenes, it turns out. Her day begins with cooking breakfast for her guests, followed by a few patient visits, followed by more bed and breakfast business, and possibly a brief minute of downtime – if she’s lucky. In short, she is incredibly busy, made even more busy by unforeseen circumstances such as the flood that took place the night I stayed as a guest. There she was, setting me up a bed for the night, both of us declaring how excited we were for bed, when she was startled to notice water streaming in the windows. It had rained fairly heavily during the day. So there we were, on a disaster relief mission, me mopping up water from the floor and walls, and her, venturing into the underworld beneath the deck to save the B&B from its doom! After much toil, we were victorious, and the B&B was saved! –Just a typical day in the life of a naturopathic doctor/B&B owner and manager. And to think that until recently she also owned a supplement shop! It’s exhausting just thinking about it! It's such a romantic idea, but I think it might be too much for this girl. Still, I learned so much from her, and left the county feeling that I had just gained one thousand preceptor hours’ worth of insight and knowledge, after only one day. I also feel I gained a valuable friend. On, on, on, to Montreal!  

Montreal is such a great city! I don’t know why I only spent one night there. I had made arrangements to stay with a friend but when I arrived on his doorstep around 8pm, he was nowhere to be found! I stood there, not really sure what to do with myself, when his neighbours who were on the front porch, began talking to me—in  French. They were so kind, and my French was so terrible, and after they pulled up a chair for me, let me brush my teeth in their bathroom, wrote me out detailed instructions how to take the metro (subway), and loaned me their metro pass, I bravely made my way to the Osheaga music festival, where my friend could be found. I successfully arrived at the festival as people were starting to leave, which meant I had to swim upstream against thousands of people who were drunkenly bee-lining for the metro. I had been told that I might be able to get into the festival for free after a certain time, but when I approached a staff member and asked, he directed me instead to the ticket booth and instructed me to pay my way.

Instead, I continued to “swim upstream” and pretty soon, I’d passed the gates and was inside the festival in time to see Beck! I made friends with some strangers, wrangled a beer out of one of them, and even found my friend! After the music had ended, he led me to downtown Montreal where we had drinks, ate $2 chow mein, and rode bikes to buy famous Montreal bagels at 2:30am. After a good sleep, we had a great long chat, he cooked me breakfast, made me a gigantic bag of popcorn so I wouldn’t fall asleep at the wheel, loaded up my iPod with fresh music, and sent me on my way. My drive to Moncton was long (ten hours) and I didn’t leave until after 3pm, which meant I was very soon in the dark. This was the first night-driving experience of my trip so far, and after my tenth GIGANTIC, flashing-light-equipped warning sign alerting me of the huge risk of hitting a moose at night, with pupils wide, and the world out there so dark, and with a regular stream of popcorn to munch, I was wide awake and ready to swerve! The best thing that happened during that drive was that delicious popcorn and this song:


I was deeply relieved when I arrived in Moncton, having spared both my own life as well as those of the moose. 

In Moncton, I stayed with a chiropractor friend who has set up shop there. Moncton seems like a cool little town, but I didn’t feel a strong resonance there. Property sure is cheap though! A gigantic, old, well-preserved house right downtown for $185,000? Yes, please! My friend took me to work with her one day to observe an appointment with a patient. I haven’t spent much time with chiropractors, and it was interesting to see that so much more than bone crunching is involved. I’m still not sure what I think about physical medicine and if I would want to practice it or instead refer my patients to a good chiropractor. I’m leaning more toward the latter. I had my friend adjust my neck before I left, which eliminated the constant pop I’ve been experiencing every time I shoulder-check to the right. Thanks!

If I were to summarize my trip so far, some things I have learned are:

1) People are incredibly generous and kind, especially if you give them a chance to be.

2) Everyone has emotional garbage that is weighing them down. When people find ease in moving through their garbage, their mental and physical health improves.

3) Canada is enormous. And the people here are lovely. And the geography is fantastic! 

4) My French is terrible!!!

I am now in Baddeck, Cape Breton! After years and years, I finally made it up here! Growing up, my mom would often drive my brother and me to Revelstoke, BC for the holidays, and on the way, we would listen to cassettes with titles like “Sounds of Nova Scotia” filled with the Celtic music of the east coast. “My heart’s in the highland” was one of my favourite tunes. Well, here we both are, and my heart is now literally in the highlands! Tomorrow mom and I are going to be exploring the Cabot Trail and doing a bit of Highlands hiking! Maybe we’ll come across a Scottish man playing the bagpipes on a hilltop somewhere. One can only hope! 

I met up with my mom a few days ago in Halifax, where she arrived by plane. Yesterday we drove down to one of my favourite towns, Chester, Nova Scotia – a charming little affluent town on the coast. I visited Chester about ten years ago (for maybe an hour) and I remember declaring then that I would retire there! Well, before I can retire, I must work, and yesterday I assessed whether Chester would be a good place to pass my working days. If you can believe it, Chester—a town of only a few hundred people—already has a naturopathic doctor! After strolling around town and eating lunch, mom and I stopped by Peggy’s Cove and ate some delicious Nova Scotia berry ice cream (to soothe my discouraged soul?) while looking out over the Atlantic. Lovely people, and so much delicious seafood! So far, the east coast is delivering!

More to come on this great adventure. As I relax and eat lobster dinners, the preceptorship component of my trip is on pause for another week but will then continue in Rhode Island, New Hampshire, and beyond. First: holidaying in Cape Breton, PEI, and Maine! Stay tuned! 
 
Deeeeeep breath.

Well, here I am in Kingston, Ontario, finally with a free moment to jot down some notes from my cross-country travels so far. I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into when I left Portland, but I can say that this trip has already been amazing, and I’m only about one quarter in! I’ve been desperate to write for days now, but the constant driving, job shadowing, and chatting (with couchsurfer hosts and friends alike) has left me little time to collect my thoughts. I opted for a hotel room tonight simply to take a pause and reflect a little on what’s happened so far.

Portland, OR --> Kelowna, BC --> Edmonton, AB --> Manitou Beach, SK --> Winnipeg, MB --> Thunder Bay, ON --> Sault Ste Marie, ON --> Toronto, ON --> Kingston, ON!

First of all, this country is enormous! Days of driving and I haven’t even made my way across Canada yet. Also, it turns out a 10-hour drive followed by a day of job shadowing followed by another 10-hour drive followed by more job shadowing gets really tiring! I have been staying with friends where possible, and have been doing the couchsurfer thing when a familiar face is unavailable. I have met some amazing doctors, with all kinds of practices from the oldschool nature cure types to the more “cutting edge” shiny new practices where injections and IV therapy are all the rage. I have been shown all kinds of kindness and warm hospitality by the familiar and unfamiliar alike People have been both exceedingly generous and exceedingly supportive in my adventure. There is one experience in particular that I have wanted to write about for days now, and that is my time in magical Manitou Beach, Saskatchewan.

Magical Manitou Beach

Before I left Kelowna, I was treated to a visit by my aunt and uncle from Revelstoke, BC. My uncle asked me how I was planning to navigate my way across North America, to which I replied “google maps?” which was, I suppose, an unsatisfactory response. He offered to loan me his GPS, which I gratefully accepted. This GPS has been my guiding light while traversing the continent.  She has been my best friend, telling me when I need to make a U-turn, assuring me when I am on track, and helping me to arrive safely and calmly to my destinations. She allows me to get off track when I need to meander for a while, and she redirects me when I’m ready to get back on track. I’m developing a great affection for this little machine and I would be (literally) lost without her. Thanks, Uncle Albert! 

First, Edmonton. I’d had a wonderful time in Edmonton, as my couchsurfing hostess, Sara, had made me feel like one of the family. On my second night, she had all her relatives from Ontario over for dinner, and they plied me with a steak dinner and red wine and her mom drunkenly sang inappropriate songs to her teenage cousins. When they left, I had heaps of hugs and good wishes, and so the following day, when I left for Saskatchewan, I felt like I had the wings of love beneath me. Driving through the yellow canola fields of the prairies is simply beautiful and it kept my spirits bright. I stopped for lunch in Saskatoon (just long enough to be attacked by mosquitos and wasps, and for an electrical storm to commence) and then headed south toward Manitou Beach. Sunny skies before me, electrical storm brewing in my rearview mirror. Different weather in each direction; those enormous skies make me feel like maybe I could be a prairie girl after all.

Ok, here’s where the story gets good.

The thing about Saskatchewan that I never knew before is that highways there are often, in fact, dirt roads that go straight and flat for what looks like forever. Somewhere between Saskatoon and Regina, I was guided off of the paved highway to branch onto one of these so-called “highways.” Previously one of few cars on the paved highway, I was now the only car on the dirt road highway. I discovered that this particular highway was brimming with amazing photo opportunities, so I stopped every few hundred meters or so to take a photo or some bird or tree, and I was absolutely delighted to be in the middle of who-knows-where, surrounded by what I felt was a hidden gem in the heart of Canada. After turning from dirt road “highway” to dirt road “highway,” (and having really no idea if my GPS was trustworthy at this point) I suddenly came upon one of the neatest come-upon-ings to date: thousands of dragonflies suddenly zooming and darting all around my car. There were so many dragonflies that I had to roll up my windows for fear that they would overwhelm me. It was pure magic. I sat in my car, expressing my amazement to myself, in awe of this secret dragonfly gathering and then carefully carried on my way. My GPS, at this point, was showing that the road ahead led directly through a large body of water, which looked strange to me on her digital screen: a line of purple through a body of blue. However, she had been fairly trustworthy so far, so I continued as directed. The flatness of the road made what lay ahead impossible to see. I rounded a slight curve, and lo and behold! My road through the body of water was, in fact, a road partially submerged in the body of water. Huge signs declaring "ROAD CLOSED" filled me with panic and caused me to carefully U-turn myself around and inch away in fear. I had an overwhelming sense that I had had a near brush with death! My GPS hounded at me "Do a U-turn! Do a U-TURN!!!" and I was appalled that this machine I so dearly trusted was encouraging me to drive straight into the lake! I impulsively turned down some random road that headed I knew not where. Any road would be better than one that led to the bottom of a lake!

Fortunately, the road I chose (combined with my GPS’s recalculation) led me around the lake and into Manitou Beach. My experience so far in arriving at this place had been nothing short of bizarre, so I felt even stranger as the road that led me into town was exactly on level with the surface of the lake. I had already seen one road go under. What would happen if my sojourn at Manitou Beach saw a few inches of rain? Would I be able to get out? Would it be like the town in Tim Burton's "Big Fish" from which one can never leave? 

I eventually found my destination, which I had previously known very little about except that a naturopathic doctor from my school had purchased a property that she was planning to turn into some sort of clinic, and I was going to see exactly what she was up to. I drove into driveway that had “Harmony House” painted on a sign, and headed for the door marked “Office.” When I walked in, it was like stepping back in time. It was a great room filled with beautiful antique furniture including about ten wooden tables complete with place settings as though dozens of guests would show up at any moment. The room was decked out in Victorian décor from floor to ceiling. Floral prints, lace, rich dark wood, and ornaments dating back to the last century adorned the room. I stood at the door, taking it in when a head popped into view through a window into the adjacent old-fashioned kitchen, and a kind looking woman said, “You must be Erica!”

She introduced herself as Lydia, and explained that the building had previously been a YMCA girls’ camp, and then a B&B. She had owned the property before Dr. Czeranko purchased it, and she now lived there despite no longer being the owner. I felt like I had wandered into one of the most amazing places I’d ever been. She told me that Dr. Czeranko had gone down to the lake for a swim, but to make myself comfortable, which I did. I sat there on the antique sofa dressed with beautiful quilts and felt like I had wandered into a place out of time. There was a bookshelf loaded with books on spirituality, meditation, healing, and the like, and this confirmed my sense that this place was good for the soul.

When Dr. Czeranko arrived, she greeted me warmly, showed me to my room (amazing, perfectly decorated Victorian-styled room, with its own ensuite bathroom), and then we talked. She explained to me that she had purchased this property because she had been smitten with the town after visiting and experiencing its amazing healing waters. Her plan is to eventually turn the old B&B into a healing retreat center where doctors and patients alike can come to learn about and experience the power of balneotherapy. The mineral-rich sea water and magical energy of the tiny town make Manitou Beach a perfect place to set up a healing retreat.

After learning all of this, my tiredness must have shown, for Dr. Czeranko directed me to the town’s salt lake to take a refreshing swim, and informed me that that evening we would be going to “Danceland.” Danceland, I was told, was all the rage. Everyone in town would be there, and I had no choice but to go. (As if I would turn down such an opportunity!) First, though, a swim to revive me.

Although now a small and quiet place with the tranquility of a ghost town, Manitou Beach was once a vibrant and bustling place. Earlier in the twentieth century, the train used to pass through town and bring visitors by the thousands who would fill Danceland to the gills, dancing and partying all night long before heading back to their respective homes in other towns. Guests would stay in the hotel at night, soak in the therapeutic waters by day, and dance and drink into the wee hours of the morning. Since the railroad has dwindled, the town has shrunk down to a mere 200 people, now left with the feeling of a town forgotten, or fallen out of time.

I took myself the few steps down to the beach and plunged into the water. I had never been swimming in a salt lake before, and I was delighted at how buoyant I was! I effortlessly bobbed along the surface of the refreshing lake and felt the life force filling me once again after the day’s journey. Once refreshed, I walked back to the house, was treated to a delicious meal (and wine) on the deck with a view of the lake, and then I dressed to go dancing at Danceland.

Once one of the hottest spots in the province, Danceland, it turns out, is this perfect little dance hall that still hosts dances and live music a few nights per week. Tuesday night is the Toonie dance from 8-9pm. The ladies and I walked along the water’s edge to Danceland and when we walked in, I discovered a large wooden dance floor (apparently built upon a bed of horse hair – for extra bounce) surrounded by chairs and tables. The floor was packed with dancers (where did all these people come from?), and on a stage at one end of the hall were two elderly ladies playing old-time hits on a keyboard and accordion. Disappointingly, none of the older gentlemen asked me to dance, but the ladies and I met some gals from Alberta, who were both very sweet, and Dr. Czeranko invited them to go swimming with us the following morning at 8am, for “hardening.”

Hardening is a nature cure practice in which you begin the day by taking a plunge into cold water with the aim of toughening the body’s defenses. The cold water forces the circulatory system to move, which boosts the immune system. Dr. Czeranko had already told me she would be waking me up early the next day to go “harden” in the lake. I was looking forward to it!

The next day and following evening were filled with swimming, soaking in the sun, eating wholesome and delicious meals (prepared by amazing chef Lydia,) and hours of wonderful and inspiring conversation with Dr. Czeranko and Lydia about all things naturopathic. Spending a few days with these ladies in this place was an amazing opportunity that I feel so blessed to have had. Lydia practices biofeedback (a diagnostic and treatment modality), and I was able to observe a biofeedback treatment session and then ask her lots of questions about it afterward. Dr. Czeranko shared her wisdom with me (hours on such topics as the future of the medicine and starting a practice) and provided me with a list of doctors to contact in the eastern part of Canada, all of whom she knows well. My time in Manitou didn’t give me any job shadowing opportunity per se. It gave me a whole lot more.

The day I left, I began my day with a swim in the salt lake (of course), an hour of raspberry picking, healthy breakfast, and a final Manitou chat with Dr. Czeranko, and when I left for Winnipeg, I felt like the wings of love that had carried me so far had now doubled in strength. As I drove away from that little gem of a town, I felt that I had just experienced a dose of the magic that exists in this world, and I was filled with a sense that no matter what, I was on my way to becoming the best doctor I could hope to be if for no other reason than I had some amazing people backing me. 

Several towns, experiences, and a week later, I am now in Kingston, Ontario, which is the first place I have been to that strikes me as a town I could potentially call home. I have only been in this town for a few hours, but already I am in love with the town’s old-world charm, and I feel a sense of urgency that I have to move here before all the other doctors discover it and take over! More to say on this and so many other topics, but it’s time for bed, as I am heading out of town tomorrow morning to preceptor with yet another potentially amazing doctor. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me around the next corner, and I will do my best to share the next segment of this adventure. Goodnight! 

 
I find it amazing how so very often in life, those events we perceive as awful somehow manage to redirect us and lead us to somewhere spectacular. We can feel blind, lost, confused, and scared, and yet by some miracle, arrive in some place to which we never expected to go but that fulfills our greatest wishes and brings joy to our hearts. I feel that I am currently on such a journey, and this leads me to today’s post.

In two weeks, I will be completing my second year of naturopathic medical school, which will make me a certified half-doctor! I regret that I have not kept up this blog very well this year, but let that be a testament to how utterly time- and soul-consuming this year has been (in a good way—most of the time). For the last several months, I have been dreading the completion of this marathon of a year and my immediate launch into a frenzied July, studying for my basic science board exam, when I realized last week that I missed the application deadline to register for the exam. I had a brief meltdown—after all, studying for boards was what I was planning to do this summer!—what else is a Canadian girl going to do in the United States for three months?  I can’t work here! I couldn’t possibly just relax when everyone else is studying and getting places in their education (which I should be doing too)! 

And then I started to think. 

And I thought for a while. 

And I started to wonder if maybe I’m not supposed to take my board exam this summer! Alas! If not, then what else could I do that would make me feel less like a huge failure* and more like a legitimate half-doctor having a fulfilling and satisfying summer?

(*Disclaimer: failing to register for the exam in no way makes me a failure. I can take the exam next spring or summer! Why do we tell ourselves such unhelpful things?)

For a few days, I told everyone at school about my big “oops” moment, hoping that someone out there would also have missed the deadline so I wouldn’t feel so awful and alone. But no one else had missed the deadline, which just made me feel worse. Then one friend’s reaction changed the game:

“Erica, this is DESTINY!” 

I loved it. It was exactly what I was beginning to work out for myself. Just prior to my (magical) mistake, I ended a perfectly good and promising relationship with a fantastic guy, for who knows why, and then I missed the board application deadline, both of which are highly out of character for me! Why? WHY?

I then realized that I, or the universe (or both), have set myself up to be completely free this summer.

Free·dom noun
1 the condition of being free or unrestricted.
2a a personal or civic liberty
2b absence of slave status
3 the power of self-determination; independence of fate or necessity
4 the state of being free to act
5 facility or ease in action
6 boldness of conception
                        -Canadian Oxford Dictionary

Freedom. One of its challenges is that the unknowns can be terrifying—Where should I go? Who am I going to meet there? What is going to happen? The thing is, all of these “terrifying unknowns” are also pure potential. When you are open, anything can happen, and this is exciting. 

So exciting.

One of my “terrifying unknowns” is that enormous question of where I am going to go to set up a practice and my life when I complete my program. I’ve had it on my mind for a while that one of two things is going to happen:

1) I’m going to meet a wonderful man and marry him and move to wherever he convinces me is the perfect location. (This makes the decision really easy and requires no effort on my part).

2) I’m going to graduate without a partner and with no direction, and I’m going to have to figure out where I, Erica Volk, want to go, and then I’m going to go there and I’m going to set up my own life, and it’s going to be challenging, but it’s going to be great, because I made it happen. (This path is full of tough decisions, has the potential for loneliness, and requires a lot of exploration and exposure to many places. It’s exhausting just thinking about it!)

I realized that where I stand today, #1 isn’t happening, whereas despite being a little daunting, #2 is exciting and completely feasible. In fact, lo and behold! I now have three shiny, sparkling months of freedom right on my doorstep. Shouldn’t I pick up the package?

I’m picking it up.

I’ve decided to spend my summer traveling across Canada and the United States, preceptoring with as many doctors as I can manage, while I simultaneously develop a taste of the wonderful (and not-so-wonderful) places out there. Even if summer’s end still finds me with a question mark over my head with respect to my future geographic location, I will have accumulated a good percentage of required preceptor hours, I will have met many doctors and observed their unique approaches, and I will have been introduced to two nations’ worth of cities, towns, and people. And maybe I’ll even have a good sense of where I want to go. And the best part—I would never have set out on such an adventure if my plans had gone according to plan. The way I see it, Divine Intervention stepped in, and rather than fight her, I’m choosing to hold her hand and allow her to take me somewhere wonderful.

I couldn’t be more excited about the summer before me. I feel a warm and full sensation in my heart—a sensation that I am being taken care of and that that which is for my greatest good will come to me. As if all of this weren’t exciting enough, in the last week, I was inspired by a guest lecturer who shared the story of how naturopathic medicine led to her son's recovery from autism, which reminded me that “naturopathic medicine” doesn’t only mean studying seven days per week, having a pathetic social life, and being tired most of the time. No. It means a whole lot more. 

Naturopathic medicine has the power to profoundly help people.

And I get to be a part of it.

So cool.

Stay tuned. It’s going to be a summer for the books--

 
We all have a particular area in our bodies in which tension seems to hang out. For many of us, it's in our shoulders! And we may not even realize it! If you have the sensation that you want your shoulders to go down, and they just won't (the stubborn things!), then you might be carrying excess tension. Many of us don't have a strong set of hands at home to help us out so here's an easy, cheap, and effective tip that I received from a massage therapist a few years ago that you can do solo: use a tennis ball!  It couldn't be easier, but here's a video to illustrate: 
You can do this on the floor (Aaaaaahhhhhhh! Feels so good) or even roll a ball between your shoulder and a wall. You can really get into those huge knots that are way down deep, and hopefully feel restored, more balanced,  and much more relaxed. And your shoulders will appreciate going back to their usual height.  Repeat as needed! 
 
One week into second year of naturopathic medical school, I was already feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, so this weekend, as a rejuvenating gift to myself, I decided to take a load off and head to the Naturopathic ReVitalization Retreat at the Eclectic Institute in Sandy, Oregon – a weekend dedicated to reconnecting with the roots of naturopathic medicine – what is known as Nature Cure. Nature Cure is what we called naturopathic medicine hundreds of years ago. It’s the cheapest, easiest, and one of the most effective forms of medicine out there.  It is based on one of the six governing principles of naturopathic philosophy – trust in the healing power of nature. Nature Cure doctors do just that, trusting in the power of water, earth sun, and food to cure what ails you. And that’s pretty much it! Sounds just too simple, right? Well, this weekend I put it to the test. 

Are you a person who is afraid of dirt? Modern society does a pretty good job (through advertising, products on the market, etc.) of teaching us that dirt is BAD! But is it so bad? I, for one, spent hundreds of hours playing in the mud as a child, and I don’t recall ever coming down with any infectious disease or plague. In fact, naturopathic doctors believe in the power of muds and clays to heal and detoxify the body, not to mention the magic it can work on the spirit. One naturopathic doctor writes that “clay will soothe, it will help to give back to us through a cleansing process of the lungs a normal balance and poise for our physical and mental well-being” (The Naturopath, v.14 n.10). Mud has also been used for centuries to treat open wounds. It has amazing poison-absorbing qualities and speeds up healing, so in people with potentially fatal animal or reptile bites, applying mud to the wound has saved many-a-person from serious infection and/or death. Using it to pack a bleeding wound can also help to stop bleeding. One naturopathic doctor used peat vaginal suppositories in her treatment of cervical cancer and was cured! Enough said – this stuff is miraculous!
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I attended a session this weekend that was entirely devoted to a particular kind of mud called peat. Peat a silky soil that is twenty- to thirty-thousand years old and is high in humic acid, which has been found to inhibit cancer cell multiplication and expedite wound healing. It is primarily used in landscaping (a waste, if you ask me!) and if you dig deep enough, it can be found in bogs and wetlands. (For the less adventurous, it can also be purchased.) This miracle mud can be used medicinally both internally and externally. Internally, it can be used to absorb toxins in the intestines, which can sedate stomach pains, alleviate gas, and reduce inflammation in the intestines – just mix a tsp. or so in a glass of water and drink! The water will appear black, but don’t worry – it has absolutely no taste (I drank it and I’m still here)! 

Externally, peat has so many uses! You can mix a handful or so into your bathwater and have a nice, relaxing, detoxifying hot peat water soak, or if that’s too much work or is inaccessible, you could do a small version of this and make yourself a hand- or foot bath.  For a yet deeper (and more fun) effect, you can take a full body mud bath! Mix up a liquidy mess of the stuff and smear it all over your body. Traditionally, and for maximal effect, Nature Doctors would have you apply mud to your naked body and then go bask in the sun for about 30 minutes. Rinse the mud off, use your hands to remove excess water, and then allow the sun to dry you once again. And just like that, you’re facilitating the body’s healing processes.

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My mud bath experience was a little different:

Even though I consider myself a lover of mud and working with soils, the idea of stripping down and smearing mud all over myself on a camping trip with limited cleaning resources made me more than slightly skeptical. Nevertheless, willing to try anything once, I did just that. First, we (naturopathic medical students and doctors alike) covered ourselves in a peat “undercoat” and then we were promptly buried up to our chins in ordinary farm mud. With our heads sticking out of the ground, one ND beside me said, “So this is what it looks like to grow a naturopath” and we all laughed. It was a bit chilly, but otherwise quite comfortable. If I had an itchy chin, there was always a helpful someone nearby to come and scratch it for me, and when the person beside me laughed, I was delighted to feel the vibrations through the earth. All in all, it was a pretty unique and satisfying experience. When we’d had a sufficient “soak,” we were instructed to use our hands to rub the mud all over our bodies, which I did, most happily (my skin was getting a bit itchy at the end there). And this mud rub… What an AMAZING sensation! I can’t explain how or why, but I felt my energy changed, like I was buzzing with vitality. Lucky for us, after being hosed down reasonably well, we were able to jump into a wood-heated natural hot tub to warm up (wonderful!). And of course, when it was time to get out, we ended with a cold plunge (naturopathic doctors swear by this). I am happy to report that on top of my amazing new energy, in the day that followed, I noticed that all pre-existing blemishes on my skin cleared up completely. Also, (and this is kind of weird to me) I felt cleaner than I’ve felt in a really long time. A bit counter-intuitive, but the proof is in the experience. I was a believer! 

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Delightedly receiving a rose petal-infused footbath demo from the herb guru, Dr. Glen Nagel, ND
The comment about what it looks like to “grow a naturopath” stuck with me for the remainder of the weekend. As I participated in herb walks, took herbal baths outside, attended talks on homeopathy and naturopathic philosophy, and chatted with the elders of the medicine, I felt something changing in me – a new acknowledgment and embrace of the heart of naturopathic medicine that is nature herself. It seems so obvious that at the core of naturopathic medicine is nature, and yet naturopathic medicine, as a field, is becoming what many people today are calling “green allopathy” – that is, conventional medicine that simply replaces pharmaceutical drugs with a less toxic regime of supplements. But naturopathic medicine is so much more than that, and I am grateful to have had a taste of what that means and to feel just that much more connected to the essence of the medicine. I can honestly say that I am learning what it means to really trust in the healing power of nature. This naturopathic doctor is growing.

 
It’s been a while since I last wrote, and I have a good reason. My apartment building suffered a massive fire in February and I’ve been homeless ever since. Seeking a temporary place to stay, a new place to live, and managing the continual stream of school demands has been quite a lot for one girl’s plate over the last month, and although I had lofty plans to spend today at the library, I instead find myself forced to take a moment for myself because, well, this girl is SICK! 

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Yup -- it even happens to medical students!
Have you ever noticed how when you come through a highly stressful period of your life, you inevitably get sick? Have you ever wondered why that is? This happens to me fairly predictably, and I was glad to finally understand this annoying problem this fall when Dr. Jared Zeff, a practicing naturopathic doctor, spoke to my class.

Dr. Zeff began by asking, “Why can’t we find a cure for the common cold?”

His answer:

The cold is the cure!

Practitioners of naturopathic medicine believe that “every acute disease is the result of a cleansing and healing effort of Nature” (Lindlahr, Nature Cure, p.46). That’s why when you’re in an acute state of disease (cold/flu, other “-itis” conditions) you might find your body spewing out all kinds of waste products – sneezing, coughing, vomiting, diarrhea, runny nose, sweating, pus and other bodily discharges. These are all methods the body uses to eliminate “the bad” to restore itself to health. Although these symptoms can be annoying, embarrassing, painful, highly uncomfortable, or outright awful, symptom suppression is not recommended in naturopathic medicine, as it only prevents the body from doing what it knows is best for itself. Rather, focus on nurturing the body through its cleansing process by getting lots of fluids (for me, this means liters and liters of hot water), eating good, wholesome, nutrient-rich foods (that means no sugar or processed foods – sorry!), allow a fever to do its thing (maybe even try to increase it*) and rest if you’re tired, or, if you’re up for it, try some gentle movement to work that lymph fluid and get that river of junk flowing out of your body!

If you tend to get a lot of colds or other infections, a naturopathic doctor can help you to determine why your body isn’t functioning as optimally as you might like, and get you and your health back on track! 

* A note on fever: Did you know that there is actually a purpose to a fever? The body raises its temperature in order to kill off invading agents. As long as your fever doesn’t get dangerously high (optimal fever is around 102°C), maybe even consider a hot bath or some heat-inducing foods and herbs (ginger is a good one) and enjoy the knowledge that your body is healing itself. Take the opportunity to catch up on the R&R you’ve been neglecting! 
 
_ Do you consider yourself lucky? Or are you the sort of person who can never get the breaks? Listen to this song by (the amazing) Chet Baker and ask yourself – does that sound like me? Do you get the measles and the mumps?
_ What makes some people lucky and some people unlucky? One man, Richard Wiseman, conducted a study to find out. A big part of luck, he argues, is simply catching chance opportunities as a result of being open to them. He recruited volunteers who self-identified as lucky or unlucky and then conducted multiple personality and intelligence tests, which revealed that unlucky people tend to be much more tense than lucky people, and that anxiety disrupts people’s ability to notice the unexpected. Unlucky people tend to miss opportunities because they go to parties, intent to meet their perfect partner (and so miss out on making wonderful friends) or they look through newspapers for a specific job advertisement and miss the other amazing job options. Lucky people tend to be more relaxed and open.  

The good thing about this is that luck is a learned skill that can be acquired! Unlucky people can become lucky, and lucky people can become even luckier. As an experiment, Wiseman created a “luck school” – a month-long series of experiments designed to help students think and behave like a lucky person. Following this experiment, 80% of people were happier, more satisfied with their lives, and luckier.

How do you become luckier? Wiseman lists 3 techniques that lucky people tend to practice and that unlucky people can learn (yay!):

1.     Follow your intuition when making a choice rather than solely focusing on the rational side of the situation.

2.     Step out of your routine. Take a different route to work, talk to different types of people at parties, and introduce variety into your life.

3.     Focus on the positive side of any ill fortune you do encounter.

What connection does this have to your health? Misery loves company! People who consider themselves unlucky tend also to dwell on their bad luck, and this (unfortunately) feeds a vicious loop that attracts even more unhappiness, which can eventually lead to disease. Do yourself a loving favour and practice being lucky! 

(For the original article, click here)



 
Suppose you go to see a naturopathic doctor and the doctor tells you that you need to do all of the following in order to get well: cut out gluten, cut out dairy, exercise four times per week, take several supplements, quit smoking, start a meditation routine, etc. (By the way, this wouldn’t be uncommon in a visit to the naturopath.) The list gets so overwhelmingly long and requires so much effort that you just throw it in the garbage and don’t make a single one of the changes. But if the doctor were to tell you to change just one thing, say, cut out gluten, you’d be a lot more likely to give it a try, right?

I’ve been thinking a lot about change.  Often, healing can only come about if we are willing to change. The source of our problems (both physical and emotional) could be our eating habits, our exercise habits, the way we handle stress, the environment in which we place ourselves, or other self-destructive behaviors. And most of us know that to be optimally healthy, each of these factors is important. What we don’t realize is that just focusing on changing one thing causes a whole lot of other changes in our lives. Newton’s third law states: every action has an equal and opposite reaction. It comes down to science. Can’t argue with that.

In one of my classes a few weeks ago, my instructor told us about a study in which doctors asked their patients to change one thing in their lives, and it could be anything, including what radio station they listen to, or what newspaper they read every day. Change just one thing. So their patients did, and the results were dramatic. By altering even one old habit, people unintentionally invited all kinds of other changes into their lives. Somehow, starting small, people opened themselves up to other changes, whether they planned them or not. These people started exercising and eating better of their own volition, and so the change was sustainable, and their health improved.

Why are we so afraid of change? If we’re unhappy or our bodies are not functioning as well as we might like, why is change still so daunting? Why do we cling to our old habits and routines? Why do we stay in unhappy relationships? I think it’s because many of us would rather stay with what’s familiar than take a risk on what we don’t yet know. A wise friend of mine recently said to me, “decisions are rarely between good and bad – they’re usually between good and better.” And that’s what makes change difficult. We identify our situation as “all right” or “fine.” But what we should be doing is aiming for the ultimate best, most enriching, most joy-inducing situation we could possibly imagine – but it’s a gamble! What if we take the risk and go for it and then it doesn’t work out the way we thought? Then isn’t it better to stay with what was “all right”? I don’t think so. As far as we know for certain, we only get one life, and shouldn’t we be trying to make it as fulfilling as possible?

I think we need to take the risk.

Making a change takes courage and faith – courage to let go of what is just “all right” in order to make room for what is amazing, and faith that what is amazing will find you.

I used to go to a yoga class in which the instructor would often challenge us to let go of the limitations we placed on ourselves. By letting go of our self-imposed expectations, we open ourselves up to the possibility that we could be stronger and more radiant than we ever imagined we could be. 

What if you allow yourself to be more amazing than you ever thought possible? Think about it for a minute. 

How would you feel? What would your life look like? And how do you achieve this? Start small. Change one thing.

I dare you.

 
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_ In the months leading up to the beginning of school, I found myself in possession of two books that dealt with the topic of anatomy lab. The first book is Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures by Vincent Lam, which is a series of short stories about the life of a medical practitioner from pre-med to professional. In one of the stories, a group of medical students are in the anatomy lab, dissecting a cadaver, and one of the students expresses that he is uncomfortable cutting through a tattoo on the cadaver’s chest, as he believes that symbols are sacred. Until I read this, I had not fully considered what it would be like to be in a room with dead bodies, and possibly cutting into them. After reading this story, I had a new anxiety about what is called “dead lab.” Would I faint? Throw up? Cry? Have to leave the room? How would I feel if I saw tattoos on the cadaver? Could I separate the scientific from the personal? Not having dissected anything since I was in the 8th grade, when we dissected a sheep’s eyeball, I was justifiably concerned about the dramatic leap to dead human beings.

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_ This anxiety was confirmed when I picked up a second book called Stiff: the Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach, in which she graphically depicts a room full of disembodied heads – in use by students of cosmetic surgery. Was I too going to have to cut into a dead head? Could I handle it?

Strangely, when I daydreamed about anatomy lab, the single lesson I thought would be my greatest challenge was reproductive anatomy. It seemed to me too violent a gesture to slice into a man’s penis, or to cut into the sides of a woman’s vaginal cavity. And it’s possible that if we had started out our anatomy course with reproductive anatomy, I might well have done all of the following: cried, thrown up, run out of the room, and fainted. However, having spent several months in the lab already, I was nice and desensitized when I got my reproductive anatomy lesson only today. (And it softens the experience that we do not ourselves do the dissections, but instead just look at those that have been done for us by a team of talented [and brave?] upper-level students.)

I guess it’s not all that rare to get to stand in a room full of cadavers and see for one’s self what’s under the skin of a human being. All medical students have this experience, and yet when I’m standing in the lab, I feel my position is both privileged and unique. And I felt this way today, staring at a sagittal section of a penis and identifying parts. I expressed curiosity about the cross-section of the penis, since none of the cadavers offered this perspective, so the TA promptly collected a scalpel and cut through the penis on some poor cadaver “just for me.” I can’t deny that I found the experience both slightly disturbing and yet oddly exhilarating. So now I know the ins and outs of the penis, and this is a good thing, as apparently there is a possibility that naturopathic doctors may be performing vasectomies in due time.  (And as far as the female reproductive anatomy goes, I’m sad to report that all of our female cadavers were lacking their uterus and ovaries due to hysterectomies.)

All of this to say that in spite of my anxieties heading into my anatomy lab course, I have yet to faint, throw up, or cry. I have had to leave the room on occasion, and I have hovered near the window when necessary (the fumes can be a bit much).  In the beginning, I did find myself getting emotional about the persons behind the bodies. I found myself wondering “What friends and family were in that woman’s life, and did they hold that hand in her dying days? Did some man put a ring on that finger once upon a time?” But I quickly learned to detach and to study the bodies for the educational tools they are.

This course is also confirming for me the sense that our bodies are, in fact, not ourselves. They are the vessels we inhabit while we exist on this earth, and we should do our best to care for them as lovingly as possible, as our care or lack thereof will greatly impact our experience of life. Through this course, I am finding that any previous hang-ups I had about my body are nonsensical, and I am happy to report that I feel them dissolving effortlessly away. I (and we) ought to simply enjoy and admire our bodies for the mind-bogglingly amazing and complex organisms they are!

Side note: Last quarter one of the NDs who teaches at NCNM provided us with a regime to follow in order to keep our livers safe from the toxic chemicals encountered in dead lab. How many medical students can say the same? I love my school!!